Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Good to be back...

It's nice to be back in a familiar place where I have experienced so much and to see my family. I have been tired and on the run since I arrived, or at least it seems that way. In spite of there being no time difference, the 13 hour trip sure takes it out of you!

I have been waking up at 6 am after going to bed about 10:30, but I am still tired when I wake up! I didn't take a nap today. I'm missing my occasional siestas! Call me lazy!

The lawns here are so manicured and everything is so controlled, bridled and manipulated. Most fertilize their lawns, so there are no "jujos", or weeks (some of which can be remedies to put in terere!)

I know that I will adjust to being in the States after awhile, but being here feels less real. It feels distant...I feel the same way I felt being here that I did before I left for Paraguay. OK, but not joyful or happy or content. I can say that I was happy in Paraguay. Why does happiness have to be so complicated? Why do I have to think about whether or not I will be happy in the future? Why can't I be happy RIGHT NOW? I have never felt like I've truly been living like I was there. Is it wrong? Should I stop? How do I know if I'm doing it right? The more I live and the more people I talk to about how to be happy, I don't think there is any way to know if I'm making the "right" decisions. I just live, and whatever decision I make, I live with the consequences.

I went to Vaquero's today and had to stop myself from not mixing Guarani with Spanish. Christie and I took the guampa into the restaurant with us; I had to explain to them what it was, ha ha.

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